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Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes 2017: Are you still searching for funny jokes on the Hanukkah 2017 than stop here, as we have pick some of the best comedy funny jokes for Hanukkah festival. I’m surely you will enjoy it.

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

1. “Following the modern trend of huge company mergers, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge! A holiday industry leader said at an office party that the deal had been in the works for thousands years.”

2. “Admiring the Christmas trees displayed in his neighbour’s windows, Nathan asks his father, ‘Daddy, can we have a Hanukkah Tree?’
‘What? No, of course not.’ says his father.
‘Why not?’ asks Nathan again.
Bewildered, his father replies, ‘Well, Nathan, because the last time we had dealings with a lighted bush we spent 40 years in the wilderness.’”

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

3. “Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.”
She continued, “There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in,and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy,” replied the grandson, “but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”?
To which she answered, “You’re coming empty handed?””

4. “My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.
As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, ‘Aaron, what’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?’”

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

5. “Mary goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards and she says to the cashier, ‘May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?’
The cashier says, ‘What denomination?’
Miriam says, ‘Oy vey, has it come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.’”

6. “During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish – the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe
A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday.
The Jewish men were dumbfounded. “Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?” they both thought. After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, “Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?”

The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said… “Shhhh. He thinks we’re teaching him English.””

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

7. “Last year, just before Hanukkah, Miriam, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown up grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. ‘You come to the front door of the condominium complex. I am in apartment 2B.’
Miriam continued, ‘There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 2B. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 2. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.’
‘Grandma, that sounds easy,’ replied Jonathan, the grandson, ‘but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow.’
To which she answered, ‘You’re coming to visit empty handed?’”

8. “A spokeswoman for Christmas, wouldn’t speak on camera about adding Kwanzaa in the near future. She merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. She then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of “Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful.””

9. “One of the more pressing points that had been holding up the merger for the past 200 years was if Santa could have the milk and cookies after eating a hamburger.”

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

10. “During the merger, it is believed that Jewish people will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.”

11. “Some layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being let go first. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the drediel, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider customer base.”

12. “For those of you out there who are thinking about the Hanukkah-versus-Christmas thing, let me tell you this: Quite honestly and this an experiment with a two-and-a-half-year-old—Christmas blows the doors off of Hanukkah.”

13. “According to their press release, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah will benefit both sides. We will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the projected holiday is being called.”

Best Happy Hanukkah Jokes for Kids 2017 Funny Riddles

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